You are always there to champion me!

 Just some random thoughts.  The past few months have been extrememly hard for me in many different ways. Yet somehow through the prayers of many and the good graces of a loving Heavenly Father I am making it. Nobody ever really knows what  another person is going through personally in their lives. It is impossible to know. Yet somehow those same people seem to be there when you need them or sense that something is not right. It is those times that we as humans come together for the greater good - humanity! I have been on both ends of that spectrum, the recipient and the victim. I like the recipient side much better. It is hard for me (as it is for you) to ask for and even to recieve help, yet when it comes it is like life giving oxygen or water, we drink it up for all it is worth. For the next few years life is going to be so different for me in my marriage and in my life. I am trying to prepare myself for what is ahead and what is already happening. I feel so far away from my husband. I love him dearly and I know he loves me too. Yet there is something very different and hard at the same time. There is no time for me in his life right now...it is all he can do to keep his own head above water. He runs and runs on empty most of the time. He doesn't have time to eat or sleep. He is pulled in so many directions. So many require and expect too much of him. He is a rock but usually rocks are independant and solid on their own. I am the cute little sagebrush or brigham tea bush that grows beside him. Decoration and glue is a better analogy. He likes to know I am there but doesn't need or have time for me. That is not his fault just a reality of where we are in life. I need more than that.  I am searching inside myself to find what it is that I can be doing at this time in my life to better myself, be more of a contribution than an assest, what goals I can set for myself that will bring ME happiness. I know that once I find that purpose I will be happy...its the journey that will be exciting! I am happy to have you in my corner to help me on that journey. Keep the great ideas and helpful hints coming my way, I love you.