Come out and play with me!

You know life is so darn short. It is a shame that we ( I mean me) waste it on trivial things. I have found (and wish I would always remember)that things usually work themselves out while I am busy worrying about them. It never fails, they really do work themselves out. For better or worse! So I am really trying to let things go a little longer and be patient so that they can work out. The case for me is that I usually just need a sounding board so that I can see how ridiculous I am about things. It is you that is there to sound off from and I always feel better afterwards. I hope that it doesn't make you worry then don't have someone to sound off from. That is really pretty selfish of me, I will try to be better. You see I am working on it. I went to mom's last night because Barry told me about a water break. It had taken care of itself with dad and mom's help. The big sister was there, and I actually visited with them all and put my petiness aside for a few moments. However, when I got in the car my unbridled thoughts went to the place of..."if she is so dang poor, how come she has her nails done all fancy?" Well not my problem is it? I just need to quit even thinking about such stuff, she is who she is and will never change so either love her as she is or don't bother. I have had some really neat experiences the past few days as Len has dealt with an accidental shooting death in our ward. As I watched him (and went with him) to visit the affected families and even into the trailer where it happened, it gave me new appreciation for the things in my life that are so good. My home that keeps me warm, safe, and happy. The very food I have to eat (that I chastise myself for eating), the clean clothes and bedding I have to put on and sleep in. Luxuries that others don't have. I couldn't believe the conditions, the poverty, the hopelessness of these people. Nothing at all to live for, yet they live...it is baffling to me yet in some perverse way I wonder why - could I do it? The things that I complain about or worry about have no real consequence in the whole scheme of life - they are trivial in comparison. I look at your sweet puppies and think...nothing to worry about, their every need is met, and they are as happy as clams. Not everyone is like me, not everyone thinks like me, so how can I be so judgmental? I just want to be happy so I am going to make that happen. 'Happiness is not felt, it is experienced'. I want to be part of this life. A real part. I want to experience everything and live up to the motto in vinyl on my wall. "Everyday holds the possibility of a miracle." I just have to be looking, and as I discover the miracle - I will find the happiness I have been pushing aside thinking I am too busy, too fat, too proud, and too stubborn. Through your great incouragement I am finding where true happiness lies - it is within myself. Thanks for always standing beside me and never letting me get the better of myself. I embrace life, I encourage fulfillment of all that I am supposed to be. Today is the day to make a difference in myself and others. I love you more than words can express. You have a gift, and I am glad to be the recipient of that gift!