Ruts

I wish I had a good picture for this, but I don't...I'll get one.

Thanks for your post, you are right on the money.  The decision was the easy part, the execution will be a little harder, but I am so ready.  I will need a cheerleader so please don't let me slip back into my same old rut.

Speaking of ruts, the conversation we had a while back about being stuck in a rut has been on my mind, I kept thinking about it and really I still am thinking about it but from a different perspective.  This may not apply to you, but it does to me.  I couldn't quite put my finger on it until today, I was looking for a notebook to write down some ideas in (I only have about a hundred of them that I have started) as as I opened each one in my office, they all started the same way: Goals-Fly more or make it a priority, Get Healthy, with some variation of diet and exercise, and the list goes on and on including places to go, spending time with family, making friends, yada yada.  What struck me is that I have had the same written goals forever and I'm still not getting them done.  Here's where the rut analogy comes in.  I do feel like I am stuck, but it dawned on me today that probably the reason I am so stuck is because I keep trying to make the same goals work and frankly, I'm starting to think the goals are wrong.  I'm not only stuck in a bad rut, but I've been run over several times.

In Maui, I kept trying to convince Courtney to go do something fun, follow her dreams or whims BEFORE she settles down to get married or go to hair school.  Today it struck me that I should follow my own stupid advice.  It keeps coming to me "if not now...WHEN?"  I'm not saying I'm going to sell everything and move to Maui although that idea does appeal to me, but why shouldn't I take a look at what is tying me to goals I am never going to achieve, simply because I don't have interest in doing it?  Why don't I get on with things?  I am going to quit my job, this week.  I am going to examine what is so magical about my place here that I am so tied to it. Maybe it is just a better alternative to moving to Sky Ranch, but it might be time to exhale, to really let go of the stuff that is binding me to a place that has really run its course.

I don't have a lot of answers yet, but I think that I have just been trying to make the same situation work out differently (the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome) and I get discouraged when it doesn't.  I'm not sure any of this is making sense, but I always dream of traveling, yet I don't go.  I've been picking at the schooling, or the jewelry or any number of those same themes, so maybe one of the keys to traveling and meeting new people is to dive in and at least find out.  If its good, its good if its not I need to move on to the next hair brained idea, right?  There is just so much left in life that I want to do and wasting time working at a job with people I don't like doesn't seem like a productive way to spend my time, it is just too precious.

Time to give up the scrooge in me and start to live again.  I always know that I will always have enough, even though that is one of the things I seem to worry about.  I just need to stop worrying.  I can't wait to talk to you about all this.   And I don't want to wait any longer to start making changes, I am excited about that and I know it will be hard, because it is always easier to slip back into the rut, but I am so done with my rut. And you are always welcome to come over, always!  Here's to climbing out of my rut!