Ok this is going to be a corny analogy but hopefully it will be a pertinent one as well. From reading your blog and trying to read between the lines, I have come to a few conclusions. First you set a goal or a deadline for yourself. You knew you needed to have a timeline, an end game. You went on your trip with a clear objective in mind. Because you did it gave you pause for reflection, mind searching, and clear understanding. Because you had this wonderful time away from everything that 'sucks the life' out of you, you were able to come to some very important decisions. Are they going to be easy to implement? Not in a million years, but you have made them with a clear mind. You were seeking something important to you, your life! Peace, calmness, fear, apprehension, doubt, and uneasiness are part of the process. You made the hard decisions, you know what is front of you so now you need to put away the doubt, put away the apprehension, put away the feelings of fear...replace them with faith, determination, trust, and calm. You can do all these things, you are so capable. Don't doubt yourself or your resolve. You are tougher than anyone else I know. You have come through harder wars than this one, and you are a survivor. Will it be easy? Not likely! Will it be worth it? After much prayer, thought, soul searching and time away you have decided it is worth it, you are worth it!!! Anything worth while takes some digging, some muscle aches, some sweat and yes you know it, some tears. That is why I am here beside you to be your cheerleader, your advocate, your ali and your friend. I know it is super scarey to loose your income, but you have prepared for this day. You have invested your money, your time, and your talents well so that when this day came you were prepare for it.
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| Me seeking... |
Maybe you will need to downsize, cut back, spend less and be like the rest of us smoes! Ha. You will make it and you will be amazing. The school stuff will take discipline for sure but on thing I have learned from walking every weekday morning at 5:30 on the dot is that once you make it a habit, it is easier. Plan a study time each day and don't let anyting disctract you from it. Set yourself up a great study place in your home so that you feel comfortable, teachable, and able to focus away from the other distractions. Then discipline yourself to not answer the phone or do other things during that time just like you were sitting in a class at a university.
Then the organizing part of your life like your closet, office, yard and rooms. Eat the elephant one bite at a time. Don't think of all that you have to do, think of all that you have done that day. One shelf at a time, one floor at a time, one cupboard, closet, room or drawer at a time. Set a goal for yourself about that too and a time during the day when you will work on it. I have started doing this myself and I started as simply as my spice cupboard. Now when I look in there I feel happy not frustrated or showered on by falling spice bottles. One bite at a time. I know I don't need to tell you these things you already know them, just have confidence in your decision, don't doubt yourself, you came to these ideas and plans not by accident but after much prayer and contemplation. To quote the king from Lord of the Rings..."Now, go and become what you were born to become." I love you, I will come over and help you if you want me to. Be happy and trust that your decisions are right for you because you did your homework. Hugs and Kisses Beanie
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| ...Me finding!!! |
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